A Christian Nation

President-elect Donald Trump has just announced that, starting in 2017, Christmas songs will run from July 4 through December 25. He plans to forbid “Feliz Navidad”, however, unless its author, Puerto Rican singer José Feliciano, translates all Spanish lines into English.

Mr. Trump met with Santa Claus this morning as part of his efforts to fight what he considers to be Chinese “abusive trade practices”. The Christmas’ icon has agreed to distribute American-made toys only in return for an adviser position in the new Department of Child Labor. Gun manufacturers’ stocks prices immediately showed substantial gains.

In related news, his economic team, consisting of Goldman Sachs’ associates, has recommended Mr. Trump to change the name of Christmas to Cartmax, in honor and celebration of the birth of the Shopping Cart.

Il Provokateur

Fidel Castro just went to Heaven

What about if the world isn’t as Cubans in Miami want us to believe? What about if, instead of going to Hell, as they claim he will, Fidel Castro is actually going to heaven. After all, Cubans in Miami don’t decide who goes to Heaven and who ends up in Hell. I don’t believe in God, but if there’s one, that would be God’s decision, and only God knows on whose side his… soul?… is.

This post originated while I was reading an article on White America’s racism. Somehow, according to the author, a big chunk of Whites believe they’re superior to people of other races, superiority that they attribute to… guess who… God.

God, in their minds, must be white… Also in the minds of Cubans from Miami, who are a bunch of racists too… But what about if God is black?

God, or the existence of God, escapes scientific scrutiny, but we can very confidently trace the origin of Man to Africa. Adam was a black man. Then, if we believe in whatever the Bible says, God, whose copy and paste image Adam was, must be black.

Therefore:

Nelson Mandela must have already interceded on behalf of his close friend from the Caribbean. At this time, Fidel Castro -I don’t have any doubts- must be joining Malcom X and Martin Luther King Jr. in the great party of Heaven -if God exists.

Il Provokateur

Market Fundamentalism

“The proposal of any new law or regulation of commerce which comes from this order [businessmen] ought always to be listened to with great precaution, and ought never to be adopted till after having been long and carefully examined, not only with the most scrupulous, but with the most suspicious attention. It comes from an order of men whose interest is never exactly the same with that of the public, who have generally an interest to deceive and even to oppress the public, and who accordingly have, upon many occasions, both deceived and oppressed it.”

Adam Smith

Il Provokateur